Most people really do want to help. They’re sincere about trying to ease others’ pain or give them a boost over the hurdle. But despite our best intentions, some of the things we say and do out of ignorance only end up making things worse.
When someone’s really suffering, our first instinct is to smooth it over. We try to minimize the problem and encourage them to look on the bright side. Or we offer reasons why things could be worse and come up with examples of people who have it harder than they do. We give patronizing advice and spout simplistic cliches.
“Things aren’t as bad as they could be.”
“We’ve all got stuff we have to deal with.”
“If you couldn’t take it, God never would have let it happen.”
Listen, if you really want to help someone…
Stop trivializing their trials!
The word tells us to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), not to pretend like they don’t exist. People are going through some seriously hard situations. Some of it’s external and pretty obvious. And some of it’s on the inside where you can’t even see it. Mental illness, for example, is very real. And your inability to perceive it or comprehend it doesn’t make it any less real.
Every time you make light of someone’s load, you make it that much heavier to bear.
Doing so can make a person feel more isolated and alone. Dismissive reactions can make the person who’s struggling feel unsupported, like they’re not even worth anyone’s attempts to truly understand or assist. And the emotional island they’re living on just starts to seem even smaller and more deserted.
Making light can also add to feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. When everyone around you is pretending like your problems are easy to solve, you can really start to feel stupid for not being able to solve them! Dismissive reactions can make the person who’s struggling feel increasingly incapable and incompetent.
And on top of all that, playing down people’s pain makes them feel like not only are they carrying a big burden, they are a big burden. Dismissive reactions can make the person who’s struggling feel like they’re adding to everyone else’s struggles. Like they’re the weakest link in the family. That if only they could get it together, then everybody would be happier. Like they’re the weight dragging the whole thing down and that everyone would be better off without them. And those are some very dangerous feelings to have.
Why do you do me like you do?
Sometimes our attempts to minimize are motivated by our own experiences with pain. Maybe you didn’t get the empathy you were hoping for when you were hurting. Maybe no one offered the sympathy and support you felt you needed during a tough time. And if no one gave it to you, why should you give to anyone else? That’s clearly selfish thinking, and most of us never want to see ourselves in that light. But if we’re honest, there’s often a bit of lingering resentment that reveals itself in our reactions to other people’s pain.
And sometimes we trivialize the trouble because we’ve already come through it. Time tends to heal the wounds and dull the pain. Something that was excruciating at the time is now a distant memory. And that distance has helped us forget how much it actually hurt. The mind has a way of glossing over the not-so-pleasant parts. So when we’re “encouraging” others with how bad it really isn’t, we’re doing it because we’ve long since repressed how bad it really was.
Learn from the Master
Jesus never spoke down to people who were suffering or minimized the pain they were experiencing. He never made them feel less spiritual or less intelligent or less worthy because they struggled. When someone was crying, He didn’t make them feel like there was no good reason for all those tears. Never once did He bring up how bad someone else was doing to make a person feel better about their situation.
Jesus dealt with the causes of people’s pain even as He gave them full permission to feel the pain itself. He cried with those were crying. Instead of just talking down to them, He would reach down to them and stoop down with them to lift them up.
So going forward, here’s how you can truly help lighten someone’s load.
“I don’t know everything you’re going through, but I’m really trying to understand.”
“It takes time to heal, and everyone’s schedule is different.”
“God’s going to bring you through this, but it’s okay to feel what you feel while you’re in it.”
Pray for a heart to feel the real impact of your responses to the people around you who are hurting. Eyes to see the true load they’re carrying. Ears to hear the true tone and tenor of your words. And if those words are only adding more weight to their worries, it may be better to say nothing at all.
If this article blessed you, please leave a comment, hit one of the share buttons at the top, or subscribe to the blog.
Be blessed and be a blessing!
104 Responses
Amber
Amen!
Amber
So true!
Sheryl
Amen! Thank you so much for your precious words. This is so powerful!❤
KevinAdult
how to get an australian phone number read here
european yachts
аренда яхт в италии
eurosegeln
yacht mieten frankreich go now
Avenue17
https://avenue17.ru/
continent telecom
австралийские номера телефонов | continent telecom
TrinixyNoila
hentai420
Robertgrofs
J. Carpenter writes on his report that Archetyp markets and other darknet markets need to regularly change their tor link to combat DDoS attacks and evade being blacklisted by services and antiviruses.
ErnestFaize
It is remarkable, rather amusing idea
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
iherb free shipping
נערות ליווי במרכז
I was very pleased to uncover this web site. I want to to thank you for your time due to this fantastic read!! I definitely appreciated every bit of it and I have you bookmarked to look at new things on your website.
cheap jordans online
I just wanted to thank you for the fast service. or maybe they look great. I received them a day earlier than expected. the same as I will definitely continue to buy from this site. manner in which I will recommend this site to my friends. Thanks!
cheap jordans online https://www.cheaprealjordan.com/
https://stevieraexxx.rocks/city/Discreet-apartments-in-Ramat-Gan.php
The very next time I read a blog, Hopefully it doesnt fail me as much as this particular one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read through, but I genuinely thought you would have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of complaining about something you could possibly fix if you were not too busy seeking attention.
bape t shirt
I want to show appreciation to the writer just for bailing me out of this particular trouble. Right after scouting throughout the world wide web and coming across proposals which are not helpful, I thought my life was done. Existing without the presence of approaches to the problems you’ve fixed by means of your good review is a serious case, and the ones which could have in a wrong way affected my entire career if I had not encountered the website. Your primary training and kindness in dealing with a lot of stuff was vital. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had not come across such a subject like this. It’s possible to now look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time very much for your professional and sensible guide. I will not think twice to suggest your web site to any person who would like direction about this issue.
off white outlet online
Thank you for all of the work on this blog. My niece take interest in managing internet research and it’s obvious why. I learn all relating to the powerful mode you make very useful tactics by means of the blog and even improve response from other people about this subject matter plus our simple princess is discovering a lot of things. Enjoy the remaining portion of the year. You are always conducting a stunning job.
bape
Thank you a lot for providing individuals with an extremely terrific possiblity to read critical reviews from this blog. It can be so brilliant and stuffed with a good time for me personally and my office co-workers to search your website at minimum thrice weekly to find out the latest items you have. And lastly, we are actually satisfied for the special techniques served by you. Certain two facts on this page are particularly the most suitable I’ve ever had.
golden goose purestar
There are certainly a number of particulars like that to take into consideration. That is a great point to bring up. I offer the ideas above as general inspiration however clearly there are questions just like the one you convey up where the most important thing can be working in trustworthy good faith. I don?t know if finest practices have emerged around issues like that, however I am certain that your job is clearly identified as a good game. Each boys and girls feel the affect of only a moment抯 pleasure, for the rest of their lives.
yeezy
Thank you so much for providing individuals with such a marvellous chance to read from this web site. It is always very enjoyable and also packed with amusement for me personally and my office co-workers to search your site more than three times every week to study the fresh guidance you will have. Of course, I’m also certainly amazed considering the remarkable hints you give. Certain 1 tips in this article are definitely the finest I’ve had.
golden goose
I precisely desired to say thanks once again. I do not know the things that I could possibly have taken care of without the entire techniques shared by you relating to such a area. It actually was a real scary condition for me personally, however , finding out this specialised avenue you handled the issue made me to weep over delight. I will be happier for this support and as well , have high hopes you recognize what an amazing job you have been providing educating others thru a blog. Probably you have never encountered any of us.
air jordan
I would like to express some thanks to the writer just for bailing me out of this particular problem. After scouting throughout the the net and coming across thoughts which are not powerful, I assumed my entire life was gone. Living without the presence of answers to the problems you’ve solved by means of your site is a crucial case, and the kind that might have adversely damaged my career if I had not discovered your web page. Your good competence and kindness in playing with the whole lot was invaluable. I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t come upon such a subject like this. It’s possible to at this point relish my future. Thanks for your time so much for this high quality and sensible help. I will not think twice to endorse your web blog to any person who needs to have counselling on this area.
bape
My husband and i felt now contented Michael could do his research because of the precious recommendations he had out of your weblog. It’s not at all simplistic to simply find yourself releasing information and facts that many some others could have been making money from. So we take into account we’ve got you to give thanks to for this. Those illustrations you’ve made, the straightforward website navigation, the friendships you will assist to promote – it is most fabulous, and it’s aiding our son and us believe that this topic is cool, which is certainly incredibly mandatory. Thank you for the whole lot!
off white
I wish to convey my respect for your generosity in support of folks that really want assistance with the question. Your very own dedication to getting the message all around appeared to be surprisingly good and have in every case enabled professionals much like me to arrive at their goals. The interesting tutorial entails a whole lot to me and somewhat more to my fellow workers. With thanks; from everyone of us.
off white t shirt
Thanks for all your valuable labor on this website. My mother takes pleasure in making time for research and it’s really simple to grasp why. A lot of people learn all of the dynamic way you make advantageous tactics on this web blog and in addition encourage participation from other individuals on the theme so our own simple princess has always been becoming educated so much. Take pleasure in the rest of the year. You are always carrying out a dazzling job.
golden goose stardan
I discovered your weblog website on google and verify a few of your early posts. Continue to maintain up the excellent operate. I just additional up your RSS feed to my MSN Information Reader. Looking for forward to reading extra from you in a while!?
jordan outlet
http://mail.blacktigers-gilde.de/user/?action=user&id=65&show=gallery
off white nike
http://ukrainasegodnya.com/regiony/kiev/6689-sogodn-610-u-centr-kiyeva-na-majdan-vdbuvayetsja-vche-proti-kaptuljacyi.html
off white
http://phantom-technology.com/jp/products/iphone/pointalarm/support/wforum.cgi?no=6768&reno=6586&oya=6484&mode=msgview&page=0
golden goose outlet
https://www.globaltaobao.co.kr/yc5/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=3805&page=23273
supreme
https://www.mhagcusa.org/articles/comments/report.html?commentID=2627911
off white clothing outlet
http://helloprot.ldblog.jp/archives/21199744.html
off white
https://anitagottschling.vpweb.de/apps/blog/show/46057625-wunder-über-wunder?&fw_comments_page=59&fw_comments_order=DESC&siteId=138721091&locale=de-de
yeezy outlet
https://kofc112.webs.com/apps/calendar/showEvent?calID=3756054&eventID=125284350&next=showMonth?calID=3756054&year=2011&month=3&fw_comments_page=2&fw_comments_order=DESC
golden goose white sneakers
I discovered your blog site on google and test a couple of of your early posts. Proceed to maintain up the very good operate. I just extra up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. In search of forward to reading more from you later on!?
off white outlet
https://meshplusplus.com/inner-page-press.html
jordan 12
http://torresstart.com/component/k2/item/4-didamus-pretium-lacus-in-ligula-mattis-ut-consequat-mauris-cursus-orci-non-ipsum-eleifend-scelerisque-ac-id/4-didamus-pretium-lacus-in-ligula-mattis-ut-consequat-mauris-cursus-orci-non-ipsum-eleifend-scelerisque-ac-id.html
supreme
http://s-k-a-t-e-r.com/top-stories-from-todays-montana-this-morning-april-12-2021/
hermes outlet
http://flexitime.mvps.kr/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=89799&???????bo_table=free&bo_table=free&bo_table=free&device=mobile&wr_id=89797&wr_id=89798
crypto signals free
Admiring the time and energy you put into your site and in depth information you offer.
It’s nice to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old
rehashed material. Great read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my
Google account.
Here is my web page – crypto signals free
crypto signal free
Your mode of describing the whole thing in this piece of writing is in fact fastidious, every
one can simply understand it, Thanks a lot.
Feel free to surf to my page; crypto signal free
kyrie 7
http://veroniagallery.com/your-subject-3757/
http://dreameg.barunweb.co.kr/
I am genuinely pleased to read this blog posts which carries plenty of valuable data, thanks for providing these kinds of statistics.
Also visit my web page … best crypto signals (http://dreameg.barunweb.co.kr/)
fear of god essentials hoodie
https://www.offexploring.com/momsadoc/albums/june-16-17-july-89-2023-reykjavik-iceland/14956736
kd 12
http://www.kssink.com/shop/item.php?it_id=1555467558
https://goctoc.com/
It’s difficult to find well-informed people on this subject, however, you
sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks
crypto trading signals
I know this site gives quality dependent articles
or reviews and extra data, is there any other
web site which gives these information in quality?
Look at my web site; crypto trading signals
Zjdlzk
fenofibrate canada buy tricor paypal fenofibrate 160mg cost
curry 6
http://www.mygsm.ru/forum/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=25&sid=9fd280de5d653714e08580effd5a8b4f
goyard bags
http://fohweb.com/www.beatsbydreaudio.net
bape
https://therobellermanteam.com/basic-search
crypto signals
great points altogether, you just won a new reader. What might you
recommend about your put up that you made some days ago?
Any sure?
Here is my web blog; crypto signals
best crypto signals Telegram
Thanks in favor of sharing such a pleasant opinion, post is nice, thats why i have
read it entirely
my site best crypto signals Telegram
crypto signals telegram
Hi there to every one, the contents existing at this website are in fact awesome for people knowledge, well,
keep up the good work fellows.
Also visit my web page – crypto signals telegram
nike dunks
http://hungryforhits.com/myprofile.php?uid=8641&postid=6891
Telegram crypto signals
Thanks for another informative web site.
The place else could I am getting that type of information written in such an ideal means?
I’ve a challenge that I’m just now working on, and I’ve been at the glance out for
such information.
My web site; Telegram crypto signals
hermes birkin
I’m typically to running a blog and i really admire your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your website and keep checking for brand spanking new information.
chrome hearts outlet
Howdy! I just wish to give a huge thumbs up for the nice info you could have here on this post. I can be coming back to your blog for more soon.
ggdb shoes
I enjoy you because of all of the efforts on this website. Betty delights in going through research and it is simple to grasp why. Most people know all about the lively medium you create reliable tips and hints via this web blog and even increase response from others on this situation and our favorite child is certainly studying so much. Have fun with the remaining portion of the new year. You have been performing a splendid job.
yeezy
very good submit, i certainly love this website, keep on it
kyrie irving shoes
There are certainly a number of details like that to take into consideration. That is a great point to carry up. I supply the ideas above as basic inspiration however clearly there are questions like the one you bring up the place an important factor will be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if finest practices have emerged around things like that, but I am positive that your job is clearly recognized as a good game. Each boys and girls really feel the affect of just a second抯 pleasure, for the remainder of their lives.
Fgllqq
cialis tablets viagra fast shipping sildenafil 50mg pill
hermes belt
This really answered my downside, thank you!
Dxkwxd
ketotifen 1mg brand ketotifen 1mg pill order imipramine 75mg for sale
Ohqvhi
mintop online buy free ed pills buy ed pills usa
Eqxhju
acarbose uk buy precose 50mg for sale fulvicin 250 mg pill
Narjsu
buy aspirin 75mg sale purchase aspirin without prescription buy imiquimod
Robertthymn
Excuse, I have thought and have removed this phrase
———
https://www.host4cams.com/
Zkxmwa
buy dipyridamole 100mg generic lopid 300 mg pill pravachol ca
Bohsvm
buy melatonin 3mg online cheap buy meloset online order danocrine for sale
RNS-MO-Mar
Разрешение на строительство — это публичный документ, предоставленный управомоченными структурами государственного управления или территориального руководства, который допускает начать стройку или осуществление строительных операций.
[url=https://rns-50.ru/]Разрешение на строительство офиса[/url] устанавливает правовые основания и условия к строительной деятельности, включая приемлемые виды работ, приемлемые материалы и приемы, а также включает строительные регламенты и пакеты защиты. Получение разрешения на строительную деятельность является обязательным документов для строительной сферы.
Bouplj
order duphaston 10 mg sale buy generic januvia over the counter order generic jardiance 10mg
Olwmfc
order florinef 100mcg pills rabeprazole 10mg pills imodium brand
w88
Hey there superb website! Does running a blog such as this take a lot of work?
I have very little knowledge of programming but I had been hoping to start my own blog
in the near future. Anyhow, if you have any recommendations or techniques for
new blog owners please share. I understand this is off subject however I simply had to ask.
Thanks a lot!
My web-site … w88
Hvrllh
monograph oral monograph price cheap cilostazol 100mg
Byahbb
prasugrel 10mg pill thorazine ca detrol 1mg sale
Rhqbpm
ferrous sulfate over the counter buy ferrous sulfate 100 mg without prescription betapace 40mg price
Wkdqvo
pyridostigmine order online buy feldene 20 mg online rizatriptan oral
Npjvbx
buy enalapril 10mg online cheap buy generic lactulose online buy duphalac cheap
24/7 AC repair Miami
I am sure this post has touched all the internet users, its really really pleasant
piece of writing on building up new blog.
scholding
Быстровозводимые здания – это прогрессивные строения, которые отличаются громадной быстротой установки и гибкостью. Они представляют собой конструкции, заключающиеся из заранее произведенных деталей либо компонентов, которые имеют возможность быть скоро установлены в территории застройки.
[url=https://bystrovozvodimye-zdanija.ru/]Производственное здание из сэндвич панелей стоимость[/url] располагают податливостью и адаптируемостью, что дозволяет легко преобразовывать а также модифицировать их в соответствии с нуждами клиента. Это экономически продуктивное а также экологически стойкое решение, которое в крайние лета заполучило маштабное распространение.
Kytowc
buy xalatan cheap order xeloda 500mg generic exelon for sale
slot gacor
slot gacor
online pharmacy no rx required
canada pharmacy not requiring prescription
Ewxfgp
premarin ca buy generic premarin online cheap sildenafil
yeezy outlet
Aw, this was a really nice post. In idea I would like to put in writing like this additionally ?taking time and actual effort to make an excellent article?however what can I say?I procrastinate alot and not at all appear to get one thing done.
Yusbte
prilosec 20mg canada oral lopressor 100mg lopressor 100mg for sale
pg 1
There are certainly a variety of particulars like that to take into consideration. That could be a nice level to convey up. I offer the ideas above as basic inspiration but clearly there are questions just like the one you deliver up where crucial factor will likely be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if best practices have emerged around issues like that, but I am certain that your job is clearly recognized as a fair game. Each boys and girls really feel the influence of only a second抯 pleasure, for the remainder of their lives.
kd 14
There are actually a lot of details like that to take into consideration. That may be a great level to deliver up. I supply the ideas above as general inspiration however clearly there are questions just like the one you convey up where a very powerful factor might be working in sincere good faith. I don?t know if best practices have emerged round things like that, however I’m sure that your job is clearly identified as a good game. Each boys and girls feel the influence of only a second抯 pleasure, for the remainder of their lives.
یک بینی
Very soon this website will be famous amid all blogging
viewers, due to it’s fastidious articles or reviews
bape
The subsequent time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I know it was my option to read, but I really thought youd have something attention-grabbing to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you might repair in case you werent too busy on the lookout for attention.
Dvlrxj
order micardis sale hydroxychloroquine canada movfor uk
black golden goose
I definitely wanted to construct a word so as to say thanks to you for those stunning tips and tricks you are giving out on this website. My extended internet investigation has finally been honored with awesome content to talk about with my classmates and friends. I ‘d express that we site visitors actually are extremely blessed to dwell in a wonderful network with very many outstanding individuals with very helpful tactics. I feel very fortunate to have used the site and look forward to some more entertaining moments reading here. Thanks a lot once again for a lot of things.
Travis Scott Jordan
I抎 should verify with you here. Which is not something I usually do! I take pleasure in reading a submit that may make individuals think. Additionally, thanks for allowing me to remark!
Abgcod
cialis 40mg usa order sildenafil 50mg online viagra sale
Depo 25 Bonus 25
You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something which I think I would never understand.
It seems too complex and very broad for me. I am looking
forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!
Saiba do que se trata o jogo Aviator caça-níqueis de cassino
This page definitely has all of the info I needed oncerning this
subject and didn’t know who to ask.
Saiba do que se trata o jogo Aviator caça-níqueis de cassino
A rookie could definitely have an appropriate recreation slot to see the very good fortune in your on-line sport.
There are many casinos in South Africa which you can select to be able to gamjble over the online
and each of them have a set of perks to supply. In the eveent that they do, then chances are high they’ve achieved the authorized analysis to offer
the proper, legal games to you.
palm angels clothing
It is best to take part in a contest for top-of-the-line blogs on the web. I’ll suggest this website!
Bakuer
oral cenforce cenforce order purchase chloroquine sale
porn
When
https://promotionbags.cn/points-to-consider-when-buying-a-laptop-computer-backpack/
bape clothing
There is noticeably a bundle to learn about this. I assume you made sure good points in options also.
porn
When
https://schonstetterbladl.de/index.php/2018/11/07/naturgarten-igel-gefunden-was-tun/
birkin bag
Oh my goodness! an incredible article dude. Thanks However I am experiencing subject with ur rss . Don抰 know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting identical rss problem? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx
child porn
When
https://www.sprechen-und-gesang.de/de/news-avg-business-by-avast/
Gavevb
modafinil canada promethazine generic deltasone online order